Alan Cuddihy…or cuddly as he is called these days due to the “Holiday weight” he is currently sporting. Recently he has become quite embarrassed about his weight after a business trip with a colleague. Alan struggled to maintain a conversation due to the fact that every time the car hit a bump his tits would slap him in the face mid-sentence.

He descends from the mighty Wexicans; however his upbringing was less fortunate than that of his forefathers as he was dragged up on the streets of BallyMacturnip-kickers, Co. Cork. He sees himself as an out and out ladies man (most see him as more of a lady boy) using scare tactics to stun the unsuspecting local girls then blinding them with his dazzling ability to speak Chinese, all this in between outs of vomiting all over himself. He has a vivid imagination and has been known to tell stories about hosting “Knickers Parties” at which he’s the only male to attend…we try to tell him that reading dirty magazines in someone else’s y-fronts doesn’t constitute a party, but his conversational skills are poor and his local dialect renders him quite limited in communication. He is however a worldly and well traveled man, having spent time in Australia, New Zealand and Pete Watson. In Ireland Alan worked as a coalman, delivering coal for…elderly people, he has done a great deal of charity work and is the founding member of “Incontinence Ireland”.? To sum up Alan in one word I would have to say; tolerable.

El Duderino